I’m only 19 years old. And I feel like I’m suffocating.
Let me explain.
I don’t know if anyone else is going through this, but I’m at a point where I really don’t care about what people think or what everyone else is doing. Of course I still show support to my friends for their accomplishments and their current status, but ya’ll. I really don’t care. I’m so fed up of trying to make people happy. It’s draining and I’m sick of it.
I’ve always put people first, given people the benefit of the doubt, given people chances when they shouldn’t even get another chance, tried my best to stay on people’s good side, tried to communicate with others when a situation occurred. I always blamed myself for everything and it only led to me feeling hopeless. Little did I know, that it’s only a part of life.
I started to realize that when my first relationship abruptly ended and I felt TRIED. Not tired, TRIED. It was as if all the baggage that I was carrying finally spilled onto the floor and. I. could. not. pick. it. all. up. Like bro, wtf. I had no idea how much self-doubt, insecurities, and lack of everything else that is not merely positive, I had in me. I’m still re-learning how to love my being, move at my own pace, and not carry unnessary baggage.
If there is anything that I have learned in the past couple of months, is to guard yourself. Protect your heart, mind, and spirit, at all costs. It’s so vital and necessary for growth and becoming balanced, something that I’m now accepting. No more holding my tongue for anyone. Ya’ll gonna hear my wrathhhhh now.